It's not often I have to start out a blog post by warning you that this article contains offensive language. It's even rarer when that offensive language is pulled directly from an email generated from a state Department of Insurance. And rarest yet is the laughter that state generated email produced – at least around our water cooler.
At first glance, the blast email from the Oklahoma Department of Insurance seems normal enough. Announcing a 2012 Tornado Preparedness Summit, it tells the recipients that the organizers are seeking “nominations for five awards to be presented at the event this March in Oklahoma City”. There is the Governor's Award, described as “The most prestigious honor, given to an individual or organization that has made an outstanding contribution to the cause of tornado preparedness, response, recovery, mitigation or research at the state, regional or national level.”
There is a Humanitarian Award, “given to the individual for outstanding progress and accomplishment in the fields of tornado preparedness, response, recovery and mitigation.” Also listed is a Media Award, and a Distinguished Service Award, recognizing people or organizations having positive impact on “tornado preparedness, response, recovery, mitigation or research.”
But all eyes will (literally) be on the Insurance Commissioner's Award, which will be, according to the email, “Presented to the girl with the biggest tits.”
Don't take my word for it. Click the image below to view the original email. (Some information has been redacted to protect my anonymous source.)
Click on image for detail view
It's good to see an Insurance Commissioner who knows what he likes, and isn't afraid to show it. Let the Governor and those other pansies take the high road – we're going to find the biggest hooter's in the state! Yeeeee Hawwwww!!!!!!
The email goes on to explain that “those who submit nominations are asked to illustrate in 500 to 750 words how the nominee meets the criteria for the selected reward.” 500 to 750 words? For the other awards I understand, but for the Insurance Commissioners Award that seems a bit excessive. I could probably do it in two or three.
I'm not sure what large breasts have to do with tornado preparedness, but clearly there must be some correlation. They are probably better suited for measuring earthquakes, which have also been an issue in that state. A group of men in my office have offered to travel to Oklahoma to research this more fully, but alas, their services are needed here. No, I better do this job myself.
And I'm not even touching the fact that this will all be held at a place called the Cox Convention Center…..
In the end, what this really proves is that even people in the state agency sometimes don't read what they send out. In fact, many people would have likely missed it had the state not sent a follow up email, apologizing for the inappropriate language in its prior missive. Seems they were practicing their own need for preparedness, response, recovery, and mitigation – from a tornado of potentially bad PR.
The state said it was an “unauthorized draft”, and it was “traced to a staff person who has accepted full responsibility and is deeply apologetic. “ They assure us all that “Disciplinary action is being taken. “ (Thank you sir! May I have another?)
The state assures us all that “This email was not vetted through the normal process and neither the Insurance Commissioner nor any supervisory staff was aware of the distribution. The Oklahoma Insurance Department, again, deeply apologizes for the unacceptable language. “
Fair enough. But trust me. They'd have much greater attendance if the listed award was right the first time…..