A very interesting congressional campaign is brewing in the heart of Dixie. Democrat Erick Wright is currently challenging incumbent Rep. Martha Roby, R-Montgomery, in Alabama's 2nd Congressional District. Wright portrays himself as an activist, neighbor, friend, consultant and businessman.
Apparently Wright is social media savvy, and has a propensity for publishing videos of himself on YouTube. The one that has certainly caught everyone's attention was an intensely personal, introspective look at the man himself. In that video he criticizes Fox News, the Tea Party, and “the assertion that state and local government intrusion into individuals' lives far exceeds that of the federal government.” He also discusses his views on abortion, calling it a “God-given right”, and does not appear to be a fan of Ted Nugent. It is not so much his words that say much about the man, it his selected venue for the speech.
Wright delivers his video soliloquy while sitting on the toilet.
Talk about truth in advertising. I challenge you to find a better example. Anywhere.
Don't take my word for it. Watch it here.
Wright apparently tried to remove the video, entitled “Politics on the Throne”, after deciding to run for Congress, but a state news website called Yellowhammer had the foresight to archive a copy, in case something should “happen” to the original. Kudos to them.
I think Wright is on to something here. Toilets and political opinions have an inherently symbiotic relationship, and delivering one while sitting on the other greatly facilitates efficiency to the entire political process. Think what our Presidential debates would be like, if instead of wrangling over podium or seating positions, the two lunkheads who survive their party’s nomination are simply given toilets to sit on while engaging in their to and fro. This would literally allow the politicians to go “head to head”, if you catch my rather unsubtle drift. Plus, as an added bonus, the toilets would flush automatically after every debate round, lessening the stench of those lingering yet useless political promises.
Of course, the toilet metaphor could be extended beyond the election. After all, after the politicians are elected, they have to sit somewhere while breaking all their previous vows. Now that I think about it, they probably call it a “chamber” for a reason.
It is all becoming clear to me now.
This application of potty talk presents opportunities elsewhere. Blogging for example. After all, there is scant difference between a blowhard blogger and a blowhard politician. Me thinks there is an untapped market here – perhaps to be served by a video blog entitled “From Bob’s Cluttered Potty”. This has tremendous potential. I could be sponsored by some durable medical equipment company, looking to move their inventory of portable commodes or bedpans. Whatever.
The best part is, after my mellifluous vocalizations, whatever idiocy I spewed could be easily dispensed with. The slate could be wiped clean; the opinions plainly flushed away. Easy Peasey.
No, we owe a debt to Alabama's Potty Politician. He might be mocked mightily for his stance, or, eh, lack of one, but it is possible he is a potty prophet – a true porcelain visionary.
He's shown us one resourceful way to clean up politics, and deserves credit for that. It turns out the answer was beneath us the whole time.