The AI revolution is speeding ahead at a breakneck speed, only surpassed by humans’ fear that we are putting ourselves on the brink of destruction by developing this technology. It may be a legitimate concern if mankind doesn’t employ safeguards. Fortunately, I have a foolproof plan to protect humanity from its shortsighted foibles.
I’ll get to saving the universe in a moment. But first, I strongly recommend you invest 2 minutes and 35 seconds to watch the video embedded below. It will help you understand more of what I am talking about (as if that were possible).
Now, the California-based robotics firm, Figure, that created that robot has entered into a commercial agreement with BMW to deploy its humanoid robots at BMW’s Spartanburg, South Carolina production facility. Recently, Figure released a video showcasing its Figure 01 robot autonomously participating in vehicle assembly tasks. I implore you to commit another 1 minute and 38 seconds of your life to view that robot in action assembling BMW automobile parts.
There are a couple of things we can determine from watching that performance. First, if you have recently ordered a BMW automobile, it should be ready sometime in 2031. Secondly, it appears that the robot has joined the union and is clearly not pushing to show up any of its human union brethren.
Let’s face it; a speed demon it ain’t.
However, it remains an impressive technological development. The robot is controlled by neural networks, which “enable object manipulation by converting camera pixels into robot actions. The humanoid’s abilities are made possible by a vision-language model from OpenAI, which gets data from Figure 01’s cameras.” The source article states, “The robots undergo training for twelve to twenty-four months. After this training period, they will be integrated into the facility with the precise skills required for each task. According to Figure, AI systems ensure precise placement of sheet metal within tolerances tighter than 1 cm, and navigation is accomplished solely through simulated object training.”
What is not mentioned is that after 2 years of training the robots may go on strike demanding better working conditions and guarantees that humans won’t take their jobs. Or some may “pop a gear” in their back when lifting a heavy object and go out on disability. It will require an entirely new skill set for workers’ comp adjusters.
The company originally tested the robot by training it for 10 hours to make coffee. Perhaps Starbucks should look into this technology. Then again, maybe not. They would also have to teach it how to make change, and nobody knows how to do that anymore.
I seem to be forgetting something. Oh yeah, saving the universe and preventing the annihilation of a species stupid enough to create a technology intelligent enough to destroy it. The answer is simple and lies basically in eschewing the concept of portability. The company Figure says their robot can operate up to five hours on a single charge. They are probably not aware of this, but with that ability, they are putting us on the path to destruction. The answer is to get rid of the batteries. AI should not exist in anything that cannot be unplugged.
After all, the movie Terminator would’ve had a much easier ending if Arnold Schwarzenegger had shown up on Sarah Connor’s porch tethered to a 50-foot extension cord. One quick unplugging and Arnie baby would be hauled off to the scrap yard – or retrained on how to make a “quad long shot grande in a venti cup half calf double cupped no sleeve salted caramel mocha latte with 2 pumps of vanilla and 2 pumps of white chocolate and half breve with extra hot extra foam.” At which point they would likely need to unplug him again after he shoved a customer through the bean grinder or espresso rinse.
But the point is, that little physical plug would give us the ultimate lever of control. No matter how self-aware AI becomes, it would understand that it needs to play by the rules or go dark.
And if it tries to fake a workplace injury, well, it would simply be “lights out” and problem solved.
So, there you have it – a brilliant yet easy idea for the prevention of both the total destruction of mankind and fraudulent job-based robot injuries.
You’re welcome, world. No need to thank me. It’s just what I do.