This is a post that once again must come with a warning. It is not that I wish or desire to offend people. Instead, it seems that we must occasionally discuss topics that offend people. So please don’t blame me. Blame the topic.
You’ve been warned. If you are easily offended, please stop reading. Now.
So, what is the topic? Well, that would be a bill introduced this year in the Mississippi legislature that appears to, without using this specific language, have the intent of criminalizing male masturbation. Women are apparently free to do whatever they wish. It is also possible that the bill is targeting non-heterosexual relationships. We can’t be sure. But we are certain that Mississippi legislators must have solved every other problem in the world and now have the time to take this on.
Senate Bill 2319, called (and I am not making this up) the “Contraception Begins At Erection Act” would establish:
THAT IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON TO DISCHARGE GENETIC MATERIAL WITHOUT THE INTENT TO FERTILIZE AN EMBRYO; TO PROVIDE FOR CRIMINAL PENALTIES; TO PROVIDE CERTAIN EXCEPTIONS; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.
Ok, I am not even sure what “and for related purposes” actually means, but I suspect it would be the subject of an entirely different article.
The bill would establish the following:
It would be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo. Anyone convicted of violating this law would be fined $1,000 for the first offense. For a second offense, they would be fined $5,000, and for a third or subsequent offense, the fine would be $10,000 per, uh, well, I’m not entirely sure. Let’s just say per offense.
If the bill passes, the law would go into effect July 1. That would certainly spell disaster for the Mississippi Star Trek convention in August.
The bill would allow an exception if the “discharge of genetic material” was “Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo” or “Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.”
Lord, I hope I really don’t have to explain that last exception to anyone. Let’s just suffice to say that, contraception or not, under this bill any legal discharge must involve a partner in possession of at least one embryo. The designation of a specific species is not included in the bill, which may cause other issues. Talk about the law of unintended consequences….
(There is what I believe to be an error in the proposed bill’s language. The author used the word “and” between the two possible exceptions when he probably should have used “or.” Read literally; the only exception would apply if the discharge occurred into a contraceptive device during intercourse with the intent of donating or selling it to a clinic. Ewwwww.)
I just know there is a Ron White joke in here somewhere.
Anywhoo – clearly, we have some questions regarding this bill. If it is indeed codified as the law of the land, on what department will responsibility fall regarding enforcement? Who will rise to the occasion of enforcing the Contraception Begins at Erection laws?
On closer inspection, not that anyone wants to give this a closer inspection, the bill does seem to be an attempt by a Democrat State Senator to call attention to what he feels is an imbalance of legislative action in Mississippi’s GOP lead legislature. The bill’s author, Senator Bradford Blackmon, said in a statement, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation. This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”
Glad it doesn’t bother him. I expect the Mississippi LBGTQ community might not be too thrilled with it. That is, if Mississippi has an LBGTQ community.
The bill is not expected to pass, but they should probably debate it thoroughly, nonetheless. We wouldn’t want to learn that the Contraception Begins At Erection Act was discharged prematurely.