I must admit, sometimes it feels as though the world is upside down. Imagine if you were a person waking today from a 20-year long coma. The Twin Towers are gone. Bill Cosby is an accused rapist. Bruce Jenner is woman of the year. The country is polarized, the middle east is consumed in conflict, Europe is in disarray, and Donald Trump appears poised to be the next President of the United States; if he manages to defeat the wife of the last president you remember.
And he hasn't even yet been endorsed by former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
That coma is looking pretty good, now, isn't it?
Add to this mix the fact that Zenefits, an online company dedicated to helping small to medium sized businesses with their Human Resources issues, has just banned alcohol from its offices, and has issued a memo asking their employees to stop having sex in the stairwells.
You read that correctly. A company dedicated to helping others navigate the labyrinth of HR issues has apparently been operating more like a frat house than a business. The company's director of real estate and workplace services, Emily Agin, issued a memo recently that said, “It has been brought to our attention by building management and Security that the stairwells are being used inappropriately. Cigarettes, plastic cups filled with beer, and several used condoms were found in the stairwell. Yes, you read that right. Do not use the stairwells to smoke, drink, eat, or have sex. Please respect building and company policy and use common sense.”
Additionally, the company is under investigation by the California Department of Insurance for its business practices and potential compliance breaches, and its CEO and co-founder recently resigned.
And despite all this, last May the company managed to achieve a value of $4.5 Billion dollars after only 2 years in existence.
The world is upside down indeed.
The company is admittedly trying to repair its sullied image and business practices. Their new CEO, PayPal and Yammer co-founder David Sacks, is the one who recently banned drinking in the office. Presumably he also supports the new “Don't bang your co-worker in the stairwell” policy as well. I don't really need to point out the irony here. It should be fairly obvious.
I wonder what their recruiting literature looks like. It could contain some catchy slogans. Something like “Get laid and paid, you'll have it made.”, “Forget the ladder to success, you can climb our stairwell!”, or my personal favorite, “Friends with Zenefits”.
As upside down as this all appears to be, they may be on to something. At my company we've toiled 16 years, followed all the appropriate rules, and are nowhere near that $4.5 Billion valuation. I think I'll stop on my way to the office and pick up a keg or two.
And a stairwell. We'll definitely need a stairwell. Although that coma sounds mighty tempting as well.