A 29-year-old California woman was working as a janitor for the Sequoia Union High School District in California when she claimed an injury in 2009. That injury prevented her from working, and left her unable to walk without crutches.
While it is always a terrible thing to see someone injured in such a manner, we should not allow our sorrow and sympathies to cloud the abilities of this remarkable woman. You see, while the pain of her injury would not allow her to work, and prevented her from walking unassisted, investigators apparently found she was able to run through a park in high heels, as well as perform oral sex on her boyfriend in that park.
Talk about working through the pain. What spunk. What spirit. An inspiration to men everywhere.
Prosecutors said last week that she pleaded no contest to workers' compensation fraud and was sentenced on Thursday to nine months in jail. She was also ordered to pay more than $79,000 in restitution.
Apparently the whole sordid story was revealed when investigators caught her on videotape throwing her crutches into a car, then putting on high heels and running through the public park. She then performed oral sex at the park on a boyfriend.
Sounds like a strange workout regimen to me, but whatever blows your horn – um, I mean toots your whistle, um, no, uh, well, you get the idea.
The best part of the entire tale is that, according to the source, when referencing the sex act, “Doctors concluded she couldn't have done so with an injured ankle”.
Really? Perhaps I am missing something here. I was not aware that an ankle was a key component for performing oral sex. If that is a reference to positioning, was there not a reasonable accommodation available? Surely I could think of one. Or two. Better make that five. But I digress.
But alas, our high heeled pleasure provider has pleaded no contest, and must pay for the newly convicted errors of her ways. There was apparently no comment from the boyfriend. There is a lesson here. Crime may not pay, but it might perform for free.
In the final summation, it proves a point I have long maintained: Workers' comp fraud really blows.